Thursday, January 6, 2011

Seeing Single

I never thought I'd be divorced after 20 years of marriage, but life doesn't always go as planned. Unexpected detours can be forced upon us by the decisions of others, and, like it or not, we find ourselves on strange roads in strange places.

For me, being a single woman again was a very strange place. While my husband had always dealt with our financial transactions, I had devoted most of my years to raising our daughter and being a wife.

Regrettably, I was clueless about so many things, and having to learn it so quickly was overwhelming at best. I couldn't sleep at night, fretting over "tomorrow" and how I was going to do what had to be done.

Fastforward nine years, and you'll see a strong woman, not easily frightened and capable of doing most anything. I have a great job, making more money than I ever dreamed. I have a lovely home, nestled among the pines. I have family and friends who love me, come rain or come shine.

Admittedly, some evenings I long for a special someone to share myself with on an intimate basis. A person to witness my life. To laugh when I laugh, and cry when I cry. Someone to hear me breathing, if you please.

However, despite those times of aloneness, I've come to understand that life without a husband has its upsides.

I cook only if I want to. I wash nobody's dirty clothes but mine. Nobody's wondering where I am, what I'm doing and when I'm coming home. And when the lights go out at night, nobody's sprawled on the opposite side of the bed, snoring like a diesel on an incline. Indeed, life alone isn't all bad.

Maybe Mr. Wonderful will show up one day, and maybe he won't. Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm focusing on what remains, and I'm liking what I see.

"For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
Philippians 4:11

Linking up to Spiritual Sundays today, where soul food is served.


  1. Mr. Wonderful will show up just when you dash out, without makeup or hair combed. But you'll know he's the one because he won't care.

  2. Now, Christine. You're really pushing it with that prediction. I take awhile just to get decent. :-)

  3. Wishing you happiness whatever route God chooses to lead you and it sounds as though you are positive, upbeat, choosing to enjoy what is provided to you. I like your attitude--and the fact that you don't have to cook unless you want to--what a blessing! LOL



  4. Christine made me grin, and she's probably right. In college, I had a poster on my wall that said, "Some day my prince will come... And I'll have my hair in curlers."

    Seriously, I love your outlook and the way that you have chosen contentment. That's really what it is, isn't it? It's a conscious choice to look for the things that bring satisfaction in every stage or phase of our lives.

    I'm trying to learn and apply those principles in the empty nest/empty pocketbook.

    And for the record, I think your second season Prince will come too. It's going to be fun to read about it when he does.

  5. Your post made me think of the scripture in Phillipians where Paul writes... Phl 4:11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content" What a WONDERFUL place to be. But I am going to join the others and say I think that special someone will join you on your journey. Blessings to you, Debbie

  6. I know exactly where you are. 28 years I was married. Unlike you, I knew I couldn't make it alone. Of course I whined to God about it. Day and night,I whined and whined. Sure enough, God heard, listened and acted on my behalf. The most wonderful man came into my life and we just celebrated 19 years.KEEP WHINING !! Ask your mother about the prayer she prayed for me during this time.It brings a good laugh now.

  7. Well i think when we are comfortable and ok with it..that is when the one shows up...either way glad to see you are ok...God is our refuge

  8. @Linda....I can only imagine. I'll ask her about it. Congrats on your anniversary! Time flies.

  9. Absolutely fantastic post. Wonderful attitude. I know many who need to read this.

  10. I agree with Clif. Fantastic post. I love your attitude. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
    Blessings in this New Year.

  11. What a great place to be! I know, because I was there, too.
    And when we are content with our singleness, God can have His will in our lives....whatever that might be!

  12. Gayle,
    Congratulations on finding the real you. I had the same experience after my divorce, and actually wrote a letter to my ex-husband thanking him for leaving. I explained that it was the catalyst that brought out strength in me that I never knew I'd had. I celebrate your present singleness with you!

  13. Thank you for leaving sweet comments and thank you for today's post . Everything you wrote about is so true!!! I was married thirty-two years to my best friend and true love .When suddenly Jesus need him . I know it was God's will. I know he is in a wonderful place but I had a hard time! I have in the last year finally started to made a new life for myself and I am happy.

  14. We have a friend who will do that and He is with us always. I love your strength and the verse at the end was beautiful. Have a blessed day.

  15. Gayle you are so right.. I get so frustrated with some young couples who feel marriage is just disposible..and that is not a big deal..and i am like you, where my life has been about my kids and husband rather then the details of life. But one thing i have learnt in my life time is that no matter how hard you try and how hard you try to make things work,,you have NO control over other people ..
    So we choose how we will act and respond to life,,and we just rely on God to get us through it..

  16. What a perfect scripture. You are happy, I love your mind set.
    God Bless,