Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My Journey -- A Testament of God's Faithfulness

On the 31st of this month, I will have been divorced seven years. In commemoration of God’s faithfulness to me, I’ve chosen to share the last seven years of my life in chronological order as best as I can in a four-minute video clip. 

It was my twin Dayle who first suggested that I take lots of pictures along the way, and I’m glad she did. Oh, I thought she was insane at the time, but she told me that, one day, I would look back and marvel at how far God had brought me and how strong I had become. She was right, of course, and I’m grateful I followed her advice.

Putting this together was more emotional than expected. One picture in particular made me weepy. It is a picture of the moon that I took in 2003, sitting in the yard swing at my parents’ home, feeling helpless and afraid.

It had been over nine months since my divorce. Would I ever find a job? Would I ever be able to make a good life for myself and my teenage daughter? Could I do what was required of me?

And where was God? Didn’t he see my desperation? Didn’t he promise to meet my needs? Why was he silent as a stone?

As a scattering of small birds made their final swoops before nightfall, I felt warm tears trickle down my cheeks. Quite frankly, I didn’t know there were any tears left to cry. But, alas, there were. Initially, I brushed them aside, almost embarrassed by their appearance. However, the more I brushed, the more they fell, and, eventually, I surrendered to my emotions and let them fall unchecked.

Suddenly, a flicker of light behind the tall pines caught my attention. Wiping my eyes, I looked closer and saw a full moon, rising in the east—big, buttery and bright. Inch by inch, it climbed into the night sky, bathing the landscape with mellow hues of heavenly spun gold.

As I studied its impeccable magnificence, the swing creaked, and I felt a holy presence beside me. In ways only believers can understand, God assured me that he held the moon in the sky and that I was exactly where I needed to be: Sitting in the yard swing, under a full moon, in the arms of the one who loved me most. It was a defining moment in my journey, and I’ve never doubted him since.

The music track I’ve chosen is called “Somebody Loves You” by Janna Long. Only God knows how many tears I cried in the bleak hours, listening to this song, overwhelmed by his endless love for me. I pray it encourages those of you who may be traveling long roads of your own. Regardless of what you face—divorce, sickness or even death—know that somebody loves you, and you’re never alone.

To those who lifted my head along the way, thank you. What a lonely journey it would have been without your sturdy shoulders to lean on.